Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
