You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
