You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
