About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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