She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
