trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
vagina is talking i cant
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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