you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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