Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
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