I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
