He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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