We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
