my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
