Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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