Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
