We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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