Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Come see our sink grown plant.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
