I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
NoShamevember. You game?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
