I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
