I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
