so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
