Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
