Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
