your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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