i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
