i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Houston, we have a squirter
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
