i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
