All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i love accidental penises.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
