its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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