I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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