Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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