you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
