He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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