Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
honey bunches of taint.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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