But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
