seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
