Girls should come with a carfax report
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
