I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
