I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
