Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
