I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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