one might say we're banned from that church
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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