Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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