Do you still have your period?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
