they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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