Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
