During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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