I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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