Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
