and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
