My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Enjoy the penises
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
