i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
