I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
